farm girl and a wood shed

by Kerri meets Carrie

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about

A collection of woodshed demos. Most of these were intended to be scratchpads for formal, fully-arranged demos. Then life gets in the way and, for whatever reasons, they were not recorded.

So here's a big pile of my nineties: the ones that got away.

credits

released April 1, 2020

I played, sang, wrote, and mixed all of this stuff on an old analog Tascam 488. It has been digitized using what technology was available at the time.

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Princess Carrie Graham

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Track Name: Little White Life
Well you swear to hell you're a deeply changed man
With your liar's smile as the money changed hands
Well I must be blind if you're trying so hard
'Cos you're cuttin' lines on your shiny new heart

You breathe air so polluted with lies
It's a wonder of God that you're still alive
And you move through your world with a step so light
That nobody hears when
You never get it right
In your little white life....

You got a pack of cowards that's hunting you down
And an army of shadows that follows you around
But you dream bigger than anyone knows
In some cheap motel while you're lying on the floor

And you breathe air that's sharper than knives
With your lovers and mothers, confessors and wives
And you move through your world with a step so light
That nobody hears when you never get it right
In your little white life.

And every new place you land is one more bridge to burn
And every crossroads you pass is one less place to turn
And every new friend you make is one more to betray
And every lie you tell becomes truth in its own way.....

You breathe air that's sharper...
Track Name: Fear No Evil
Let my words so defend you
From the still of your heart
That you think of the reasons
You became what you are
There is more to this world boy
Than your God ever planned
You are looking for something
That you don't understand

And no matter what you do
Or how far you go
For as long as I'm with you
You will hear no evil, see no evil, fear no evil.....

Let my words so protect you
From the soldier within
That you place no importance
On the depth of your sins
You are more than the essence
You are more than the need
Let me lend you forgiveness
When you don't quite believe....

No matter what....

Your love falls down upon its knees
when you believe in nothing more than what you are
when what you need
is just too close for you to see.....

There is more to this world.......
Track Name: Wide Awake
Wide Awake…

I can’t get inside this world that is your fortress
I don’t recognize the man you’ve become
You are changing into something cruel and heartless
And I can’t bear to see this happen to the one I love…
If I could move you
You know I’d try
But the sea takes years to wear down stone and
I just don’t have that much time…

Someday you’ll lie awake
You’ll lie there wide awake
Someday you’ll lie awake
Someday you’ll see – someday you’ll be
Thinking of me…

I don’t know how much your emptiness has cost you
I can’t read between the lines around your eyes
Tell me when exactly was it that I lost you
Or were you like this all this time – and I just realized
That I can’t reach you
I’m giving up
A heart of gold might touch your soul
But mine is only flesh and blood…

Someday you’ll feel my absence like an ache
Someday you’ll realize you made a big mistake
Someday you’ll feel the ghost of me at your side
Someday somewhere somehow something will remind you….
Track Name: Anything Anything Anything
Anything

Cool out baby – it’s the middle of the night
And I promise, You’re right and I’m
Wrong again….

Cool out baby – ‘cos I know you’re not alone –
And I wouldn’t dare come over if I
Need a friend….

In the eye of the storm – everybody’s tainted…
I can keep you warm….
And I’m no saint –

But I can’t walk
And I can’t breathe
And I can’t do anything anything anything
And I can’t talk
And I can’t sleep
And I can’t do anything….
Without your love….
You belong to me…

Cool out baby
Did I ever treat you bad?
‘cos if you’re thinking you’ve been had
Then why don’t you ask?

Cool out baby –
Things can’t really be so wrong –
When you know you’re twice as strong as your sordid past….


In the eye of…….
Track Name: Sleep
In the markets, saviours sell their wares
In the churches, merchants everywhere
With TV shows and eyes of steel
Exploding lights and Ferris wheels
Heaven waits for all who can afford to pay

Nothing really matters as I lay you down to sleep
And you lay me down to sleep
Our love
Is a whisper that drowns the world.

In the streets the people kneel and pray
To Gods that don't hear them anyway
And there you stand, oblivious
To anything too serious
All you need is someone who can lead the way....

Nothing really matters....

The pharisees and the scribes all wept
Alexander saw there were no worlds left
Jesus walked while the masses slept
In dreams He knew He'd never get
The words of love become the laws
And the spirit deep within them lost
And judgment reigns like the hand of God
When all the Gods are gone....

And I lay you down to sleep.....
Track Name: You Are Not Me
Bring me water - send a flood
Who'd have thought the old man had so much blood?
Send me pictures of the life I left in fear
You give up this one thing...

You can't keep my body here
Round here

You are not me
You are not me
You are not the kind of person I was hoping I could be.....

What a question -
Lies that march in two by two
And now they're all useless - I realized it too soon
So how are we even?
Your talk of brassy dreams and beer
Holds me silent
While I rest my body here....

Round here.... down here.... you are not me.....

When the hole gets deeper
And the view gets smaller in the frame
And it's not that easy
To walk away and feel no shame
And it burns much hotter
But the way from here is twice as hard
And I know you don't believe me...

But you are not me
Track Name: Hard Time
you are fire, I am ether -
we could burn this city down
don't you find it hard to breathe here
With your feet so on the ground?
let me count the ways i know you well…
ways i can bring you to your knees
after all this fighting
it's hard to tell where you stand
What is fantasy and why that don't apply to me…

open wide for doctor
show him the snakes inside your head
what about after
the aftershock
riding all roughshod through your bed?
you're like a crazy river dream
that has no mouth and yet must
scream out loud...
no one tells you why
they think the punishment fits the crime
but it's hard time...

i had a dream you were an orphan
with raven hair and a killer's eyes
shooting lovers down like morphine
does that keep you satisfied?
Let me count the ways i hate you now -
Could make you hang your head in shame
and after all this fighting - it's hard to tell
who's to blame…
And what is fantasy, and why that don't apply to me.

or open wide....

cos it's hard time

you know it's hard time...
Track Name: White Flowers
maybe it’s only in my head
i thought i heard music
maybe my time’s too often spent
on nothing but losing
my keys in all my favorite bars around town
i think i even lost my car but
i got home safe and sound...
it’s really pathetic – these stupid white flowers
i want this more than that
on my knees for hours
screw freedom – screw justice – how childish
i love it...
one more time – just for me – anything i might believe...
looking out the window at the real world crawling by
what a f*ing nightmare:
somewhere out there is a life...
maybe it’s cos i think too much
i just can’t forget it...
maybe i’m so far out of touch – it hurts me to let it go
when it’s the only thing i’ve got now
i should know that when you get so high...
you have to come back down...

all i want is a heart harder to break
all i need is a soul tougher to take
cos my name is the child you loved to hate
and my army is vast...
my army is great...
Track Name: He Leaves
Was I too unkind
in my dealings with his heart?
Wide awake tonight
Most folks think I'm falling apart

What if he already lies in another's warmer bed?
No one's fault but mine - I can't say that I gave him my best

He leaves me over and over again.....
Stolen for all time
Snapshot moments of his grace
If I could only turn my mind
From the memory of his face

Oh but now my angel's found
Some new passion for his soul
Lay this heart in stony ground
Where it belongs: in the cold....

He leaves......

I close my eyes and he's right there
Like a ghost of a lie that was almost fair
Such vicious words from a callous soul
And I know I should but I can't let go.....
Track Name: Far Away
far away

between the cracks and weeds
all these hearts
never more than needy
never very far
take them from your body
pour them over your soul
seize them like a brass ring
but they'll never make you whole

i wanna be so gone
away
i wanna be so gone
away
away
away
far away from here

take it like forgiveness
like a candle in the dark
tell me why you'd even bother
trying to hide
what you are?

I wanna be....

from right or wrong
i wanna be all the way gone
you twist it around
and i wanna be
all the way out....

far away....

i wanna be so gone away
away
away
far away from here
far away from here