by Kerri meets Carrie

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Wonder why here – wonder why now? Want an answer? Then get the question right… Not that you’d ask – or even know how Wicked dancer – strip off the night… Picking up stones To throw at the sky… Going for broke by hitching a ride With anyone else who’s driving there… You are the lost – you are the past You aren’t the first so why are you last to know? You were right here… Where are you now? You were the one who kept falling so far down… For way too long… Black bag world Stumble in white… No-one out there but noise in the hall What came first? The fistful of right or something somewhere That ain’t on the ball And where will you go When no-one comes through… Maybe you, and isn’t it cruel That there’s nothing anyone can do…. Wonder why everything else keeps spinning… And your little world keeps standing still Look where you were… How does it feel? Picking up stones….
There’s a big phat party out on main street It’s a real big deal in a one horse town We got three casinos and a backbeat And not much else – but you know I get around to what I need to do I don’t see why that bothers you Only once or twice in my life Have I had so much fun in one night Yeah – right, Find me Eden… We got great wide boulevards on main street And the drunks roll down on a Friday night With the cardboard junkies under topsheets And smiling Buddhas that won’t let you Out of sight in case you go astray And no-one thinks to get out of your way then Move aside and let me steer And grab yourself another beer Yeah – right Find me Eden…
Tell me why I so unnerve you- you should understand my pain You know everything I've been through - there's this cool seductive rage Sleeping just beneath the surface of the prison that you made You drowned my demons of pride and stole my flesh for silence You taught my anger to hide and bought my love with violence You set my Eden afire and stole my flesh for silence But I will rise again Does my heartlessness seem shocking to your tender (brutal) eyes Does it hurt to hear me talking of the shame you try to hide? Is it hard for you to face me now that nothing is denied? You drowned.... Rise... I will rise
got my sorry little heart in hand it just won’t beat every time i almost understand it eludes me i’ve been burning nights at both ends sunset, sunrise i just don’t know how to tell my friends i’m not alright... my heart breaks so i stand trial for my lost loves and my other crimes like a marked man with the blind eyes i just can’t change when i’m living a lie so i see the sky and my wings melt i can’t fly cos i told myself that i never believed in miracles lately i’ve been talking to my god but he don’t hear me someone tell me more than what i’m not cos that’s all i see everybody thinks i’ve got it made and that’s just not true like a rose by any other name mine has thorns too... i go to bed so the sun won’t blind me while my faithful clock keeps trying to remind me that it’s keeping score of the hours i waste while the world goes by and i make no place and i don’t watch t.v. and i don’t read books the paper comes but i never look cos it tells the world that it’s only love but it never says that there’s not enough...
Love's a trade and there's too much double-dealing There's no survival if you dare to get involved You just get hurt until you don't know what you're feeling And then one day you can't feel anything at all I started running from emotions flying at me And then I found that I was hollow at the core I used to lie awake waiting to be happy But nothing ever makes me happy anymore I don't talk that much these days - I can't think of what to say Why should I take it when people keep leaving? Silence is sacred when words have no meaning.... Silence is sacred and it's easier than feeling When it seems that people only want to hurt you It stands to reason you keep everyone away When words are weapons you have to either learn to Keep your silence or learn to play the game I don't talk that much these days... I can't think of what to say.... Why should I take it.... One day I'll be another body in the river One day I'll light up like the fourth of July And I don't care whether or not this is living I just don't want to have to feel it when I die I don't talk that much these days... Cos I don't know what to say.....
Sorry it’s so late I was just passing by your gate Said you can’t sleep at night Hope you don’t mind that I came by Is it alright? I just wanted to see you and I keep losing my nerve I just wanted to ask you – I knew where you lived and I just wanted to talk awhile… Why don’t you tell me How does it feel to be so free? I’m tied up in chains Where do I go? How do I act? What do I say? I just… So I notice you’re alone… What do you think of when you sit here by yourself? Are you glad that I came over? Come sit beside me and we’ll talk of something else… Come hold my hand and tell me all about yourself…. Come a little closer – ‘til you feel me in your veins… Close your eyes and whisper my name… I just…
Vegas Heart Written on stone all your life What a mess you’ve made here So alone – tell me why Baby – I’m your savior Never take your weaknesses and use them just to help forget this Never underestimate your demons when you’re getting restless… Hiding in the driving rain Soaking wet in rusted chains The ruins of your heart in flames I’m a healer – I can heal you of your pain… Vegas Heart – you’re deep in debt And not exactly wealthy You’re tearing apart what little is left Honey this ain’t healthy… Never take your weaknesses And use them just to cleanse and bless this Never underestimate your demons when they're getting restless Hiding in the driving rain.... Sanctified lust – Baby, I sympathize Innocence does falter But truth ain’t trust – it’s sacrifice Lay before my altar… Never take your weaknesses and use them just to help forget this Never underestimate your demons when you're getting restless.... Hiding in the.....
Baby I’d love to watch you fall apart Just to see if you’re what you think you are Driving you crazy wouldn’t be so hard… Lately I’m living life more in my head There are more bodies than yours in my bed Wouldn’t you love to hear the things they said? Something must be wrong Why would you come back here? Tell me what you want Tell me what you’re after now? Why are you here? There’s no fool here Baby I wasn’t born to fill your needs Saying you’re sorry – will you spare me please? What are you looking for and – what do you see? Something must be wrong Why would you come back here? Tell me what you want Tell me what you’re after now? Why are you here? There’s no fool here Why are you here? ..... there's no fool here....
Watching those skeleton telephone pole platoons Marching off to tiny distant ruins Beneath the belly of the evening haze It's hard to live When touched in such strange ways 'Cos no one else seems to need To believe as much as me that Somewhere there's a candle That's brighter than the sun Someone who's as heartless And never been in love Someone who knows that silence can lift you up When the rains come Sometimes I feel like a Joycean relic on a horse drawn sledge Riding off to find the world's darkest edge I dreamed the monoliths tumbled like dominoes As the lights burned from all their windows... And no one else..... And let this night last forever I can't stand the real world's shallow heaven.....


This will be the last of the old 90s demos, most of which were recorded on an old analog Tascam 488 in the mid-90s with a motley crew of my various musico friends.

I'm glad I finally finished some kind of digital archive of what I did in the 90s. They're noisy, They're pitchy, they are cloaked in various layers of cheese / spontaneity. I was so young.

In order, this archive starts with the 1989 recording "Live at the Sidetrack"

Then come the series of scratchpad demos I did throughout the nineties.

1) Farmgirl and a Woodshed
2) Bee Sides
3) See Sides
4 UndeSides

Prior to that is a 2010 EP I did called "Notes From The Nuthatch" and a single from 2011 which was included in the soundtrack for the movie "Love Building".

So that's that about that. I had fun. Thanks for listening, and your support has always been greatly appreciated.


released September 6, 2020

Unless otherwise listed on the individual tracks, I played or programmed everything.


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